"Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." C.S. Lewis

1 John 2:1-5

"My little children, I am telling you this so that you will stay away from sin. But if you sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. His name is Jesus Christ, the one who is all that is good and who pleases God completely. He is the one who took God's wrath against our sins upon himself, and brough us into fellwoship with God; and he is the forgiveness for our sins, and not only ours but all the world's. And how can we be sure that we belong to him? By looking within ourselves: Are we really trying to do what he wants us to? Someone may say, "I am a Christian; I am on my way to heaven; I belong to Christ." But if he doesnt do what Christ tells him to, he is a liar. But those who do what Christ tells them to will learn to love God more and more. That is the way to know whether or not you are a Christian. Anyone who says he is a Christian should live as Christ did."

This is such a different season of life for me. Sometimes it is carefree and enjoyable, and other times it is stressful and emotionally draining. The one thing I am being reminded of, and trying to remind myself, is that God is the same everyday and even though I may waiver, He still is strong and unchanging. I am not perfect, yet God perfects my imperfections. I am passionate about living God's way and doing everything intentionally the way He would want. I feel like God is helping me see how strong sin is and how it can weigh on a person and destroy their whole life. The best news with this is that there is a Savior who came to rescue, forgive, and help us live for God the way that we are meant to. It means with Jesus you can have a fresh start. The devil wants us to doubt, feel defeated, and discouraged-but this is opposite of what God wants! The past is in the past and the best thing is that you can have hope for a future greater than you could ever dream because that is what life with God is like. I am excited, super excited, about life and what God is doing with me and with others. It is awesome to know that He never leaves and always will come to those who call to Him. Life has its ups and downs, but God is always faithful and consistent, unlike mankind. You can never expect a person to fill that place in your heart because it is impossible. This year will be great and will have defining moments that will stand out for the rest of my life. I'm taking it day by day, trusting God with the results, and enjoying every moment. I don't want to fly by this season of my life. The best is yet to come!

I haven't blogged AT ALL in december! I've been more into journaling as of recent but i may be blogging more and more in 2010. looking forward to the days ahead. A life with God is better than any life with anyone or anything else! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

This week is the week of getting back to normal. Back to work full time, back to school full time, and just getting in the groove of things again. I have definately cherished these last few weeks and I am so grateful.

This morning I've been processing this thought of "The joy of the Lord is my strength". I think this is a huge motivation factor for me when I remember that it is the joy of the Lord that helps me through anything and everything. It is seeing Him smile and pleased that is helping me work hard day in and day out for His glory. It isn't about working for other people's favor or opinion, but working for the Lord knowing that His reward is far greater. Back to work I go and ready for a great day of work accomplishment and kingdom building at the same time.

"The eyes of the Lord are in every place, watching the evil and the good." Proverbs 15:3

"I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind Even to give to each man according to his ways, accoridng to the results of his deeds." Jeremiah 17:10

I think when we say stuff like "God is always watching you", it sounds creepy and you can get paranoid. You wonder what He thinks when He sees us and we think of the bad things we have done while He has been watching. But I started to think about how this Proverbs verse says that the Lord watches the evil and the good. He isn't just looking for the bad in everyone or in every place of humanity. He actually is looking upon us, seeing the good that we do. He sees us and enjoys that we do things with Him in mind and according to His word. As the Jeremiah verse says, He is going to search our heart and test our mind. He will examine both to see our motives and purity. Once again-this can be scary!! However, I believe that if you are doing what you ought to be doing than there is a blessing when God watches over you. He isn't just looking for what we do wrong. God is going to see your effort and your love for Him through your actions, your deeds. And it's not just what our heart is and what our words say, but it is through our deeds-what we do.

This is all interesting to me at this point in my life as I am living out a stance I took a long time ago, and have verbalized to many. It isn't just that God knows my heart and my mind in this, but now He is testing my deeds that are following my feelings and thoughts. The deeds are the thing that will show my faith and trust in God...and will be what He bases any blessing off of. Loving life!

I decided to blog for a second, before I get to work today and be productive. Life this week has been crazy unbelievable. The time has finally come and the moment I thought about for a long time is here. It has been surreal...to say the least (someone pinch me!) But i'm excited and looking forward to every day ahead. I wonder what my relationship with Jesus will be like from here on out. I have this whole new thing to talk to Him about. I think I will go to a new level of knowing Him under these new circumstances and I will see things differently now. I am just so happy about all of this. I can gush about it all I want but it still doesnt explain it all. I'm beaming....

I think we want to believe that we will be prepared and ready for life, no matter what happens. We can read all the books, listen to our Pastor, study the Bible...and we will be ready. I think we like to believe that we have the plan figured out, how it will go down, and what it will look like...and that nothing will change. There is this false reality that happens that says that you can be completely ready for life's next step and you won't face a stumble along the way because you are ready. I learned this with soccer...you can practice and prepare all you want for game day, but you never know what will happen during that game. There are too many variables that take place to be able to determine the outcome. It's not that you can downplay practice and preparation...these are very important things! You should do whatever you can to be ready for what's next-just know that things don't always go as planned or as expected.

I went to Omaha on Saturday and spent some time with my sister, Maegan. She is 3 years and 8 months older than me and we are the closest of the siblings. I don't get to see her as much with her married life and children, but when we do talk I never fail to gain perspective on something. We were talking about her life with all the responsibilities and tasks of marriage and children and the pressure of it all. She ended up saying that you will never be fully ready for marriage, no matter what you think. It's not that you can't be more prepared for it but you will never be able to understand married life until you are actually in it. This is something I've thought about recently. I think part of me wants everything to go perfect and have all my dreams come true with marriage. For instance...

We would meet, become best friends, court (and do it all the right way...pure, focused on God, examining each other, being realistic about the future), next is engagement, the wedding, and then we would move in together and have the HAPPIEST LIFE EVER! Ha. Not to forget that I will be 100% ready to be a wife, I will be an expert on marriage, somehow I will be able to be the best cook ever and be the best help-mate to my husband...and this will all come naturally!

Sounds nice...but it's a false expectation. Yes, I am going to be more prepared and ready than the average person my age and I can say that confidently. BUT, that doesn't mean I am anywhere close to knowing all about this stuff. So I don't know, its the whole expectations thing I suppose. You have to go in it remembering that it will be work at times and that we are doing it all with God's standard in mind. It is exciting, yet challenging at the same time. It is reassuring knowing that you will never be fully prepared for it, but I still want to do whatever to learn right now more and more while I am single.

Oh just some thoughts....casting them to Jesus! 1 peter 5:7.