3-3-11

Sitting at work...thinking...waiting on hold...why not blog right now?!?

The thing most on my mind today was from last nights youth service. We talked alot about how the choices you make today will determine where you are tomorrow. It seems obvious but few people look at their choices and how they will impact their future. So I'm examining this in my own life and looking at my daily "deposits" in life and what they will produce tomorrow. I was really changed last night by a girl that visited our youth group. I was asking her about life and what she likes to do for fun and in her spare time. My usual question is to students is to ask about sports and if they play any because that is something that I could have common ground with them on. She told me that she has a physical condition that prohibits her from playing sports that require running but she hopes to be able to play volleyball next year. I asked her what else she likes to do in her spare time, like shopping, hanging out with friends, or go to the movies (ya know-typical teenage girl stuff!) Her response caught me off guard! She told me that she enjoys using her extra time studying the Bible and getting to know the Lord better. She said that is her main focus right now in life.

Lets just say I didn't expect that response! It is so rare to find a student that has that heart...shoot-I'd like to meet some adults that have that heart! At first you want to say "That's odd!" But then I realized that there was something about this that was so awesome and I really admired. My extra time is sometimes so wasted. I was challenged by her response for sure! I know there are many times when I want to take a lunch break at work so I use the time to go shopping or run errands. How much of that little extra time in the day could I use to spend to get to know God better? This girl has some wisdom that I could learn from!

Joyful.

It's interesting the difference in what we perceive to be true and what actually is reality. I find myself going back and forth with thoughts of "what would it be like if...?" or "someday it will be like this...." And I have this big picture in my head of what it will look like, how it will feel, and how awesome it will be! I had that about marriage. I had a dream of what it would look like and how pleasing to God it would be. That was one of my passions in singleness: Grow and mature so that if God wants me to get married, I will be ready. I was so determined to do "marriage" the right way and it was such a healthy thing. I gave myself to God, trusted Him with the outcome, and lived life the best I could to please Him. I look back now and see the depths of his faithfulness, grace, and direction in my life. I see the deep maturity I developed that my friend's were missing out on. I see now that God was using that season in my life to prepare me for the season I am in now...and I must say: This season rocks! What I perceived...is actually true!

I find myself this morning completely full of joy. It is the joy that is deep down in side that is not circumstantial. (I know this because I have a killer stomach-ache right now but I still find such a peace in my heart!) I feel so grateful, so thankful where God has placed me. He has poured out tremendous grace on me! I was telling a friend I haven't talked to in months that I feel like this time in my life is exactly right. This is what it was meant to be and I have no doubt that I am right where I should be. It's like this season is how it should have always been! I've struggled with contentment and I see that God is walking with me and helping me through it. He is faithful!

...well that is all I have time for now. Thank you to person who put me on hold for 14 minutes so I could type this up :)

Best Valentine's Day Gift!

It was a great evening...dinner made by my husband with a few surprises too ;) He is too good to be true. AND...he gave me this wonderful gift: http://www.impactyouthkc.com/blog/

hundred more years

so I'm stoked about the new Francesca Battistelli CD that is coming out in March. For some reason, I feel like she is writing songs about my life. I fell in love with her first CD, and many of the songs on there spoke EXACTLY to my life. God has definitely used her music as a ministry to me! Most recently I have gotten excited about her new album because she released a song off of it called "This is the Stuff". I just so dig the lyrics (not to mention the fun beat)! But the big thing is realizing that God will use anything for good...even the junk. Sometimes I can be frustrated with life, circumstances, stress...and I realize that this is what God is using to shape me. Some of her lyrics are:

"In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use"

I have felt this way so many times! Frustrated with "the stuff" in life...but really its not all that bad and God will do great things if I respond and grow through it...not just go through it. This year my challenge to myself is to embrace contentment. If we are content, we let God use our mess for great things.

As I think more about the music of Francesca Batistelli, I smile thinking about what songs she wrote and how she spoke to me. This may be cheesy, but really, her music impacted me so much in that season of life! (Mostly 2008-2009) Here are the tracks and what they meant to me:

Free to Be Me: I was going through the whole "identity" stage of thinking about life, where I fit in, what that season was supposed to be like. Free to be me is...well..reassurance that God created me how I am and has great plans to use me!

I'm Letting Go: I learned I needed to surrender my plans and dreams to God...all that I hoped for in life (marriage, children, white picket fence) trusting in Him to fulfill the desires in my heart.

Unpredictable: When I got into college, I had a picture of what things would be like and what God would do. I realized that I put God in my mind as being so predictable...like I was writing God's story, instead of He writing mine! I had to learn to let God be unpredictable :)

Blue Sky: This one was a "picker upper" for me on the album. I remember driving to work (only a 4 min drive) and I would blast this to put me in a good attitude and mindset so I could be ready to do what God was calling me to do that day.

Forever Love: It was a long song, written for God...and I realized that even a man will not be my "forever love" only God will be my forever love! I wanted to sing a love song about a guy and how we will be together forever...but I saw that God had this place in my heart.

Someday Soon: Quite possibly the song that gets me to smile the quickest and brings back so many memories. The song was about "someday soon" falling in love. She wrote this song before she was ever with anyone, but I found myself singing this song and thinking about my now husband-even though we werent even together yet. Sorry! I couldn't help it :) And now I looove singing this song and knowing this day has finally come!

It's Your Life: Pretty much the one phrase that sticks with me is " everyday the choices you make, say what you are and who your heart beats for". I realized that my life reflected what/who was first in it. You can't say God is #1, and make choices otherwise.

Time in Between: This blog is named after this song and it is because I thought it spoke deeply about this season of life I was in. I knew it was a season of transition and preparation for other great things God had for me. But I realized that every great thing has a "time in between" for the purpose of preparation.

So anyways...I think it is so awesome that God uses music to reach us, encourage us, and challenge us in our lives. He took me through that season, to be ready for this one. And now, God will teach me things in this season, to be ready for the next. How GREAT is our God!

new year, new blog!

a new blog is here! just need to fix up a few things.

...good thing I have a wonderful husband to help me out! :) to be continued!

Jan 5 2011

Thoughts from today:

IN OR OUT? My tendency with God is to either be in or out…its not that I’m going from wanting to be in or out…but rather, I feel like I am either “in or out” with Him. If I am making strides in life, being fulfilled in what I do, and seeing fruit=I’m in with Him. BUT, if I am lacking the emotional side of things, not enjoying where my life is, feeling blah=then I’m out with Him. I really struggle with this whole “in or out” thing with God. If I look at obedience, I see that no matter what I am trying to obey God. That isn’t really the issue because then I could say that I was in or “out” with God if I wasn’t obeying Him. But I am trying to. But right now, I feel like not much is going on with Him. Not much to talk about, not much to get excited about. (Bad right? I think so too..but I’m sharing some honest thoughts even though I know the right answer to say)

PROSPERITY GOSPEL: I don’t like the thought that believers have a right to the blessings of health and wealth and that we get it by confession of our faith in it. The whole “name it-claim it” thing bugs me. But there is a truth in prosperity with God. He WILL bless you if you follow Him and you CAN have the abundant life with Christ. He wants us to have the prosperous life…but it comes to us by our choice to have faith AND obey his commands. But there is undeniable interest in

GOOD ENOUGH?: I’ve had the attitude before of “I’m good enough for God.” Maybe I didn’t say it…but I thought it and I didn’t realize how I thought that way until a couple years into knowing God. Then I realized the depth of my sin and the shame that comes with it…then I fall into “I’m not good enough for God.” Once again…balance.

CHILDLIKE FAITH?: Have I lost this? Have I made things too complicated?

Leave your baggage at the door!

No one likes baggage...especially on planes.


The airlines charge extra and people go crazy trying to fit everything into their carry on so they can store in the overhead compartment...resulting in angry flight attendants who get conked in the head trying to fit it up there. Then you have the people walking in the airport with their baggage. They drag it along, bumping people, and running little children over. I don't like baggage. On my last flight, it was so awesome to just have a purse with me and that is it. Traveling with baggage is such a pain.

Baggage also stinks in relationships...but everyone has it. Ya know, the stuff that you wish you didnt do but you did and thus you were who you didn't want to be? It's that stuff that you have to share with someone that you wish you could never speak of again. No matter who you are or where you came from, you have baggage. Lots of junk that shouldn't be there. I wish I didn't have the baggage I have. It wasn't fun in courtship when I had to share that baggage...but I am grateful that by God's grace my baggage wasn't as big as what it could have been. We all have baggage.

But lately I have felt like when I meet with God in my quiet time, I am always bringing along this baggage. It is the stuff that I keep bringing up OVER and OVER again...and it is the stuff that I still a crappy Christian with. I come to God and ask Him to help me over and over again for the same things, even though a lot of the change is dependent on me. I don't like coming to God with baggage that I am still holding on to. I guess God doesn't mind the baggage as long as we are able to give it over to him...then we can be relieved we just get to carry the purse around :) Anyways, I just thought of this analogy while eating my lunch at work. I guess I'm tired of approaching God with the same baggage that He forgave me for a long time ago and is still waiting for me to give over to Him. I don't like feeling like I did this morning when I spent time with God and I felt like I had to "catch up" with Him. It was almost as if I was saying, "Where do I start?" I don't like this. I want to be constantly sharing my life with God so this whole baggage thing doesn't build up with Him.

These are some thoughts today...Eh, what a weird day it has been....