sacrifice?

sacrifice: the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

do I really understand sacrifice? The necessity for sacrifice as a Christian?

Romans 12:1 "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship."

I know that accepting the gift of eternal life and a commitment to Jesus Christ requires sacrifice. I have to give up my own wants and desires and do what He wants. I have to quit living by how I feel and what feels good and do what is right. I know this and have known this...maybe in my brain, but not in my heart. I feel like for the first time in my relationship with Jesus Christ, I have been understanding sacrifice from God's perspective. I think God has opened my eyes to see that without sacrifice, we can never receive all that God has planned for us. Maybe there are things that we "sacrifice" that we don't miss but there are and will continue to be things that we really want that we will sacrifice for what God has. I liked that definition of sacrifice above because it shows this process of sacrifice. We give up something treasured and prized...very important to us...in order to receive something greater, which is God.

In one of my quiet times this week I was thinking about sacrifice and the story of Abraham and Isaac was brought to my mind. I was just thinking about how God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, who he loved so much. I was thinking about how Abraham would feel in that moment, wanting to trust God and obey but still thinking of what God was asking him to do. THIS IS SACRIFICE. Can you imagine the walk that Abraham and Isaac took to get to the mountain where the sacrifice was to take place and what Abraham must have been thinking? Talk about being brokenhearted and tore up. THIS IS SACRIFICE. Yet, he obeyed God and did what he was supposed to do and at last minute God stopped him from killing his son, brought a ram instead for the offering, and praised Abraham for his faith. Seriously, I have never faced sacrifice like that. But when we think about the altar and going to sacrifice things in our lives, like they did in the Old Testament, this is what I have in mind. You don't just sacrifice petty things, but the things that you really want and treasure. You take those things, put it on the altar, and give it to God---knowing and trusting that if you're supposed to have it that he will give it back to you.

It's hard. It's not easy. I was praying about things like marriage. For any girl, this is a especially big deal. Thinking about the wedding, the life ahead of spending everyday with your husband, your prince charming, your warrior and protector. To be able to love someone with everything inside of you for no reason but because you love them. To be able to share life with him, grow old together, grow closer to God together. This is what I want. But I came to the place where I just had to sacrifice it to God. It is what I desire. It is what I want for my life. I want to be a wife, to be the supporter of my husband, to help him be all God is calling Him to be. I want to be a mom, to raise my kids in the way that God wants, to set an example and help them be all that God wants them to be. I want to create a family and household that is pleasing to God. This is what I see in my future. YET-I am giving it up.

"God, you know my heart and you know my desires. You know what I want so bad. You know how I feel about everything and the thoughts that I have. I want to be a wife and a mom. But, God, right now I give that to you. I give my desire for marriage and give it to you. Maybe you want me to be single and if that is the case then I will still praise you and obey and embrace life to the fullest. I want to have children. But God, I give this desire to you, knowing that I may never get it back and never experience what it is like to be a mom. I believe that if these things don't come to pass in my life, you have greater plans and I can accept them. Help me God to be satisfied in you, not these earthly things. I just give over my plans, hopes, expectations and dreams to you and ask you to fill me with the things of you. Give me the desires of your heart God."

Wow. Tough. Tears stream down my face every time I pray this. But God is worth it all. My relationship with Jesus Christ is more important than marriage, children, and anything else I have dreamed up for myself. I give it up, fully knowing that I may never get it back. THIS IS TRUE SACRIFICE.