hanging out a home tonight..not doing much of anything. its a nice change from the craziness of life. I like being busy, hanging out with friends but sometimes its cool to just chill at home and bum out with the family. this is my thursday night agenda.

I had a moment in the car the other day where I just stopped and had a surreal awakening. I seriously asked the question to myself, "what am I doing? Is this reality? Is this my life? Is this really Me? Melissa?" I think about life and where I am...seriously, it is way too good. I don't deserve this awesome life. It's not that I'm rich, successful, or have it all together. The things that I'm thinking about are things like my relationship with Jesus. 4 years ago I didnt even know you could have a relationship with God. Woah. Now I can't imagine not having one. I think about my friendships and relationships that I have been blessed with in the last years...wow. what did I do to deserve them? These awesome people I have relationships with...I feel so blessed. I think about where I am in college, the things that I have learned, the opportunities and experiences I've had...who is this girl that is doing these things? How did I end up here? I step out of my body and see this girl who is really in love with Jesus and not thinking twice about it. She just goes for it and doesnt question it. She isn't perfect but she is giving it her all. God has called her to do something great and she will do whatever to get there. Who is this girl? I can't believe it's me. Melissa Leah Fitzgerald. Daughter of Shannon and Regina. Born 11/23/1988. This is me.

The thing I'm always realizing is that I didn't do much to get where I am today. it has nothing to do with me. All I did was ask Jesus to be my Savior and King and then I just started to obey Him and continued on...and now, WOAH, I'm here. thats the thing with God. He knows our potential and He will get us there if we trust Him and just do it His way. I wasn't a girl who grew up in church and knew it all. I came from a messed up family like everyone else and I made some dumb choices too. But I didnt give up on Jesus and He didnt give up on me. Here I am, going to be 21 in a couple months, and my life is satisfying...full of joy...purpose...love. I am striving. I am learning. I am growing. I am living the abundant life.


It's not that life is easy. Even as I type I have struggles that I'm dealing with. Being a Christian is hard. But somehow if you walk with Jesus everyday, you can conquer anything. There are ups and downs, but overall...jeeze, life is way toooo good. I seriously didnt have any idea my life would look like this right now. I would have never never guessed or planned this out but it is better than I could have pictured myself. I believe that this is God's plan for everyone. He will show them a better life than they could ever imagine.

ahh. keep serving the Lord and don't look back.

FGG