achings.

I am just aching to grow. I have this hunger and desire thriving on the inside. It's like the feeling that you get when something is really bothering you and you can't think about anything else...except it's not a bad thing, but a great thing. I am just so hungry and thirsty for spiritual growth. I want to be more for God. I want to be stronger in Him. I want to be wiser. I want to grow in my knowledge of God and the Bible...but also in my everyday relationship with Christ. I feel like God has really put this on my heart lately. I dont want to just be the silly girl that can have a good laugh and be the center of attention. But I also want to be the woman who can hold up her own, speak highly of others, give wisdom and encouragement, have compassion and understanding and a woman who can impact other people's lives for Christ. The person that is one fire and passionate about God working in her life. I don't want to look back and wish I'd done more with my time.

These next 13 days I have been given an opportunity to grow. I'll get some alone time and I really want to focus on God. I'm tired of talking about it and I'm tired of going to bed with this desire for God unfulfilled. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and think about how I want to do more for God and I have this urgency, but I don't act on the urgency. I want to start acting on it. I want God to be speaking to me and I want to learn new things. I want the "aahh ha" moments I used to have all the time. I want the divine appointments and ministry opportunties that were all around when I was focused, and not that they were just around but that I was taking advantage of the opportunities. I want the deep God-filled conversations with friends and I want Christ to just be reflecting in my life inside and out. But these things dont just happen. It requires work, time, and faith in God. I have to put in the effort to grow and stop being content with my present condition. Lord... help me with this. These are the desires of my heart.